I shouldn't say I don't like to do it, it just isn't my strong suite.
Feelings are sometimes so hard to identify, and so challenging to decipher exactly what feels like what. Sometimes being "happy" isn't just being happy, it could be excitement or relief. Sometimes being "upset" isn't just being upset either, it can be anger or pain. Feelings are certainly a struggle to make sense of, and when they're so tricky to figure out, it's even harder to cope with.
Right now, I'm sitting on the couch with my dearest partner-in-crime, Caly. She's our 5-month old Pitbull, and the sweetest thing in the whole wide world. No, seriously, she is.
Anyway, we're sitting here waiting (and waiting, believe me, is the highest form of torture I know of). My husband, which by the way is still really weird to say (does it ever stop being weird?) got orders yesterday to deploy to the island of Haiti to assist in the efforts after a monumental earthquake. Michael, my husband, and I have been married almost a month now, and are just finally getting situated and comfortable in our new home. So needless to say, as
things began to quiet down in our new life, something had to happen to shake things up a bit.
Who wants peace and quiet anyway?
So, I've been waiting on a phone call, or a text message, or smoke signals, or an email, or something to indicate any decisive direction in which this is going. Nothing.
So, I'm going to be an optimist now, and find the silver lining. And with that, I am sure I will keep my mind occupied.
Another thing I am sure of right now, is that I am thankful.
- I am thankful for the FRG. Despite all of the things I have been told, I am BEYOND relieved that there are a few women who I can turn to and know they're feeling the way I am too.
- I am thankful that my husband is ready and able to go help the people of Haiti.
- I am thankful that I haven't ever had to suffer through something like the Haitians are.
- I am thankful that I live in a country that has a sense of humanity and of a world community. As much as its may seem like it would be an inconvienience, every Soldier who will be leaving this weekend isn't the slightest bit unhappy about it. These men and women are dropping everything for the next 3-6 months to go help people they have zero relation to. That is humanity.
- I am thankful that I have a family and friends who are by my side from 450 miles away.
- I am thankful that God has given me the strength to be supportive, and to understand his duties as an American Soldier.
That's going to be all for now. But I'll leave this saying that no matter how "upset" or "mad" or "frustrated" I feel, it will all still be here. I'm going to make the best of all of this time, whether he is here or not, and I'll continue to be Thankful.