Monday, April 26, 2010

when teamwork becomes and individual sport

I've learned lately that there is a fine line between being independent and disregarding others. It seems that all too often, what seems as taking initiative in one person's mind comes off as ignorant to others.
oh the learning.
As I'm sure everyone can relate, there are times in life when your "team" may be incapable of "teamwork." Be it distance, preoccupation, lack of interest, or just merely missing the opportunity, there are always going to be times where we are required to do things on our own. Apparently, these situations some times seem to last longer than others.
well hello, deployment.
As a somewhat pride-full and self-proclaimed "independent woman" (nod to Beyonce), I've got to tell you, my independence is on-point. Still, that fine line between being competent and being stubborn is a bit gray. I learned this, and now I'm doing my best to find exactly where the line lies.
After a few combative and somewhat-epic conversations, I've come to the conclusion that when part of a team, it is TRULY important that each member of the team, though an individual, knows that they are important to the overall success of the group. They need to know that regardless of their circumstance, they ARE STILL NEEDED, despite what perhaps some "independents" may think. As part of a team, or in this particular case, a brand new family, both partners need to take into consideration the other's thoughts, ideas, and plans. And even moreso, as an inevitably-forever-kind-of-team, its is important to make sure that all of those elements are in the open, and on the same page.
ahh... learning the hard way.
Throughout this stupid-Haiti time, my independence has risen to an all-time high, and that line... yeah... crossed it far too many times for Romeo to like. I, somewhere along the line, forgot that I was part of a team. I may have even lost sight of being a "we". Well, I'd like to take this time to thank Romeo for reminding me. And for letting me know that, despite my now feeling AWFUL about it, amidst the being strong and occasionally pulling some extra weight (not literally, I promise!!), it is important to remember that there's always going to be another teammate to help you along.
So, from now on, this independent woman will remember that life is a team sport.

Sunday, April 25, 2010


There are a million and one moments in life that are little post-it notes. May be an event, wonderful or traumatic. Might be a statement, or an image. Could be a word, a story, a movie, a thought. Either way, these reminders seem to come exactly when we've forgotten about whatever they seem to remind us of. From my particular corner of the big comfy couch, my hypothetical post-it notes seems to have "be thankful" written all over them.
This week especially, the reminders are at every turn.

The week started with a miracle, one I can only attribute to Angels. Two of the most precious of God's gifts were in a terrifying accident. Their vehicle flipped over, and the two sweetest girls in the world walked away, without a scratch.
Reminder #1:
Wake up each morning, and count every blessing.
You never know when they might disappear.
The same day, The Big Guy decided to call one of his own home. I didn't know her personally, but I know that she raised a wonderful, beautiful, amazing daughter. This daughter is amidst (and has been for 2 years) planning her wedding, one fit for the magnificent person that she is.
Reminder #2:
Every person, in life, is there for a reason.
Tell them as often as possible what it means that they're there.
Someday, unexpectedly or not, you may not get another chance.
Romeo and I had a rough week. Eventful, yes, and stressful. Distance alone is tension enough, and when it came to our first true conflict, it only seemed to magnify the issues.
Reminder #3:
Fight fair.
Sticks and stones and blah blah blah,
but words CAN cut like daggers.
Be careful about with what you say, and choose your statements wisely.
Appreciate what the other side of the arguement is, and understand that if it wasn't worth hearing, it wouldn't be an arguement.
Most of all, always respect. There are certain things that cannot be replaced.
The post-it notes always have a way of resurfacing. One way or another, you'll always find it stuck to something else. Often when you least expect it. When you forgot about it. When whatever was written on it has finally slipped your mind. Metaphorically and all.

Friday, April 9, 2010

Life notes.

Borrowed from my brillant, and recently Californian cousin, here are my little love notes.

Dear North Carolina,
I would like to thank you for your beautiful weather, March tan-lines, and lack of cold. BUT I would really appreciate it if you would keep your pollen situation under control.

Dear Caly,
I love you ridiculously, but if you continue to jump the fence, I am going to begin questioning our relationship. Also, I'm sorry to inform you this way, but at some point, you are going to need to begin sleeping in your kennel. Whenever that father of yours comes home, I don't think he's going to be to fond of giving up his spot in bed for you.

Dear US Army,
I am very proud of you and ALL of your Soldiers, but can I have mine back now? Please? I promise I'll take care of him!

Dear NJ and Family,
I miss you all terribly. Please come visit me soon. But fly. Please fly. For your sanity.

Dear Yard and Weeds,
Please stop growing! Please? Life was so much easier when the thought of a lawnmower wasn't remotely present.

Dear Romeo,
I know, I know, I know. You are miserable. You should be. But PLEASE try to be optimistic for the next couple weeks. When you're not happy, the days drag on and on. Find something to be happy about. Things could be much worse. I love you, and I'm rooting for you to come home yesterday. Please smile, and be confident that it will all be over soon.

Dear Me,
Be patient. Be kind. Be open-minded. Be strong.