Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Nothing in the whole wide world...

Like a happy girl!

Just a brief note of endless thanks
to EVERYONE in my life who has been
so BEYOND loving and supportive
throughout everything!
Please know that I love and APPRECIATE you
all more than you can imagine!
Thank you for all of your love and support,
prayers and kind words,
Thank you for being who YOU ARE!
You are an AMAZING person
who has brought sunshine to me, among others, I am sure.
You know the right words to say
to span the miles between
in order to bring an smile or a laugh.
Thank you for that!
I love you all!

Monday, March 22, 2010

Dear Monday, Why do you hate me so much?

Amidst the typical chaos of every Monday, the routine of rollover-reset-snooze was just like any other. Ms. Caly didn't want to get out of bed, nor did she want Mom to, so she layed sprawled out across my back. It's nice to know that even my PIC agrees that everyone should just stay in bed today. Finally after coercing her cute little paws off of me, and after hitting the snooze button about a dozen times, it was time to get up or there was no way I was going to be to work on time.
So Caly and I ventured onto our typical morning things. She reluctantly headed outside in the rain, and I brewed my AM-caffeine-kick. We ate breakfast, got dressed and ready and said our typical see-ya-laters.
As I walked out the front door, despite the gray skies and bone-chilling wind, I was content. Even though it was a rainy, miserable Monday, it was still going to be a good day, and a great start to what should be a promising week.

I turned on my car, started cruising down the road, and began listening to the everyday chatter of the radio hosts. But today, the normal chatter wasn't. It was all about Healthcare Reform. Painful. So, I flipped some channels, and to no avail, ended up iPod-ing my way to work.
I turned onto ALL-AMERICAN parkway (keep in mind the name-reference irony) to find protesters. And, come on. Not just any protesters. Not about Healthcare reform at all, but of THE WAR. Now, just to give you all a visual, ALL-AMERICAN parkway runs directly into FORT BRAGG. You know, the ARMY BASE. And thousands, and yes, I mean THOUSANDS of Soldiers travel that road EVERY DAY. So I can imagine that I wasn't the only one seriously considering hitting them with my car. (How smart can they be to be standing on the side of the road?) Either way, I was a bit perturbed, but still determine to have a great Monday, and an AWESOME week.
As I pulled into the parking lot, and started gathering the things in my car, with the iPod still playing, what could song would come on but, oh, you guessed it! Our song. Not the Taylor Swift version (though it is adorable and terribly catchy) but I mean OUR song. You know, that Romeo guy and mine. Now, my morning thus far, though challenged at some points, was still on the route to greatness. But now, just with a few bars of that certain song, my Monday has officially taken a wrong-turn into the ghetto of awful Mondays.
So now, I'm bitter and self-loathing and no longer determined to have a great Monday. I'm determined to go home, and cuddle with Caly and cry a whole lot.
Today is stupid.
Typically, I try to be motivational. I try to see bright sides and all that nonsense. But today, I'm not. I'm unhappy and grumpy will probably continue to be until Tuesday. Maybe not even tomorrow-Tuesday. At this rate, it may not be until next-week-Tuesday that I'll be a happy camper. All because of that song.
Yes. Silly right? A song? After all of the things that would typically ruin a Monday, that I did not allow, I'm allowing a simple song to destroy my day? Yes. I do what I want.
I miss Romeo. And I miss hearing songs and smiling. I miss having someone's hand to hold, or someone to bring you a drink when you're super-comfy on the couch. I miss having someone to complain about bad Mondays to, or someone to enjoy cold beer with on the back deck.
He'll be home someday, and hopefully soon. But until then, I'm going to miss him and all the things about having him here. And I'm allowed to. I'm not going to sulk and be a walk-ing zombie all the time, but I don't have to be happy. There's a HUGE part of my life missing right now, and if I want to be sad or mad or hurt or angry about it. I will. And if I want give dirty looks to happy couples, I can do that too. But I know someday, and hopefully soon, there's going to be another wife out there in my shoes giving me dirty looks. Someone who is sad or mad or hurt or angry because there is a huge part of her life missing. I'll just pray that hers comes back soon too. And I'll pray for those wives whose Romeo's won't come back, that the dirty looks and tears and the anger DO make them feel better. There isn't a more frustrating feeling in the world than having a bad Monday and needing a hug or just someone to yell with, and no one around to help you out.
So the next time I hear that song, it might throw me into hysterics, or it might make me smile. I'm hoping for the latter. Until then though, I'm going to purposely avoid "shuffle".

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Hello? Springtime? Are you there?

With springtime supposedly days away, I can't help but to see the new perspective that the renewal season always seems to bring. New life, clean house, an appreciation for the outdoors, and hmmm.... what was the other thing?
Oh yeah...
Mmhmm. And with a deep breath and a sigh.... Love. I think we've all got lots of it... Lots of butterflies in the belly, tons of affection and hugs and kisses, mountains of "I love you's" to mutter. And fortunately (or unfortunately, depending?) for her, Calymonster is smothered daily with love and affection because, well, Romeo isn't here to share in the love (literally).
There are lots of other things to do though, I mean I'll be able to plant some flowers in the next few weeks. Enjoy long runs without all of the layers. Maybe even earn myself some tanlines. But honestly, as much as solitude can be refreshing on occasion, constant seclusion is really wearing on my thoughts. Last blog, I mentioned how having some of my FAVORITE crazy ladies over for the weekend was just what I needed, well I'll tell ya, a house full of noise was a wonderful change. I'm trying to make due, but the empty echoes of the iHome blasting leaves much to be desired. I go outside and its birds chirping and dogs barking and leaves rustling and there is so much beautiful chaos on the outside, yet such stillness inside the house. And thats ironic, because in theory, that would make quite the metaphor, but it is just the opposite. On the exterior of my world, everything is still, and quiet. Its routine and strong and calm. On the inside, its a million thoughts and ideas swirling, its broken and frustrated and there is this dull stress at every corner.
I keep looking for something fulfilling to just resolve this numb turmoil, but theres nothing yet. Like I said, I had a WONDERFUL weekend with Thelma and Louise and Nicole, and while the weekend was here, the numbness subsided slightly, but as soon as the house was quiet again, it was back. And honestly, now it is worse than ever.
Before, when Romeo was here, I thought I just looked forward to him getting out of work and coming home and sitting down for dinner and watching stupid movies. But now, I just look forward to him being there. Knowing that if for some reason, I drop the ball, that there is someone else to pick it up. Or if I don't feel well, theres someone to go to the store and get medicine or milk and bread even. At first, when he left, there were a whole lot of things that I didn't miss. The shirts and socks on the floor. The muddy boots and the wet clothes in the car. The endless dishes in the sink and uniform shirts to be washed. The yelling throughout the house at the TV screen and COD. But now, if washing endless amounts of dishes and shirts and socks meant that the house wouldn't be quiet anymore, I'd take it all without hesitation.
So, now with springtime rapidly approaching, I'm going to take the time to prepare for the (hopefully) upcoming chaos. With Easter baskets in tow, I will have everything ready for Romeo's arrival, whenever that may be.
Until then, bring on the flowers, the sunshine and the frozen drinks.

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

It has been quite awhile!

And things are still moving along.

Romeo is still on the crazy island. Hopefully not for too much longer. He keeps dropping hints at dates, and let me tell you, that has become the most irritating thing in the entire world. One day its 2 weeks. Then its a week. Then its 3 weeks. Then its a month. There is a VERY obvious reason that they do not release information to the public until the last minute. I'm slowly driving myself insane trying to get the house ready, but at the same time, not trying to do too much because it may be awhile before he's here. Ughh. The headaches.

I had some of my FAVORITE ladies as houseguests this weekend and it was a BLAST! Sometimes company is exactly what you need to get out of a slump.
There were great times:

There were LOTS of laughs:

Quite a bit of silliness:

Some hard work:

And a wonderful finished product:

Thanks to the love and support of these lovely ladies,
our weekend was more than a success.
It was exactly what I needed to get over the

Sometimes, when things are a bit gray,
all we need is a little sunshine,
or a goofy face from my favorite CalyMonsterFace:

Even though sending Thelma and Louise off on their journey home (complete with a few-hour detour to the airport bar), is bittersweet, it is always worth the time we get to spend together.

Nicole wins the award for most dedicated by driving almost 20 hours (Good Lord!!) round-trip to participate in the weekend.

The valuable lesson I learned this weekend, is no matter how many miles there may be between here and there, if you have friends and family in your life who really love and care, you'll all make it work. And fortunately, it seems to work out just in time.

Love you all!