therapy

so Romeo and I keep journals to eachother.

rather, I keep a journal to Romeo.

before he left, he told me to write down how I felt while he was gone, and then when he got back, he could read what I wrote and know what I went through while he wasn't here.

needless to say, Romeo's journal is slowly filling the larger half of a notebook,

and he's only been gone 2 weeks.

it has been wonderful, because every time during the day that he and I would normally have a conversation exchange, I write.

I write how my day is going,

how Caly is,

how I feel at any particular moment,

and my thoughts.

Most importantly though, I write about him.

I write about what I think he could possibly be adventuring out to do.

About what he may be thinking,

or maybe how he's feeling.

I write about how much I care,

and how proud of him I am.

Sometimes I write how frustrated I am,

or how I wish he was just here for a hug.

I write when something is funny that I think he'll appreciate.

I write when I cry about missing him.

I write when I lay in bed at night and think about him.

I write when I wake up from a dream.

All those times when I would normally talk to him, and even some of the times that I wouldn't, I write to him.

Obviously, this is why my notebook to him is nearly full after 2 weeks.

Nonetheless,

this is my therapy.

I've come to the conclusion that everyone needs their own outlet. Some people clean. Some write. Some bake. Some draw. Some run. Some read. Some drink. Some pray. Some scream. Some eat. Some just breathe.

I have a lot of outlets.

The best therapy for me has been writing, though. Words somehow seem to organize my thoughts. Even when I can't figure out exactly how I feel, I start to write, and somehow it all works itself out. Thank you, God, for that. Otherwise, I would be certainly a mess.

I believe that when life is throwing curve balls, you have to take a second to watch. Not necessarily watch the ball fly by, but watch it before it's time to swing. Life happens fast, yes, but a brief moment in time to connect your actions with your thoughts is what we all need once in awhile. We all know how it feels to live a day on autopilot. You wake up, go about your normal routine, do the things you need to do, then go to bed without ever taking a chance to think about your life that day. If we all took a half-hour, or 10 minutes, or even 30 seconds to stop and analyze a moment, we wouldn't ever reach a breaking point. How often do we really take the opportunity to count our blessings? Or think about how it feels to live our own lives? Maybe to realize how far we've come or how much we've grown? Or maybe just to take a second to appreciate love? The love we give... The love we receive... It all becomes clear when we just take a moment to slow down and give our mind a chance to catch up with our body.

Our lives happen everyday, so quickly.

I think if we don't take the chance to be an audience to our own existence,

who will?