Today, a year and 3 weeks into my marriage, I'm again upside-down. I now have my GI Joe here with me, and after nearly the entire year apart, we have had a whole lot of adjusting to do. We had both continued to grow, and fortunately, even despite the distance, had grown even closer together. We've have our fair share of obstacles, but all-in-all, we've come so far and have conquered all of the challenges that life has thrown our way.
Before Romeo and I were married, I did my best to prepare myself for the lifestyle that I was joining. I braced myself for deployments and PCS moves, for late shifts and random weekend formations. I did what I could to jump right into the perspective of a MilSpouse. Knowing now what events and struggles this past year has brought with it, I wasn't prepared at all. I wasn't ready for the emotions of being alone, and away from my familiar life. I wasn't ready for the growing and learning that I had ahead of me. I certainly wasn't prepared for reintegration and all that goes with it. But we did it. And now, a year later, I'm facing my newest learning experience.
A month ago, the week before Christmas, I was laid off. It was COMPLETELY unexpected, and a much bigger blow to our family than I could have anticipated. Fortunately, it worked out well that we were able to go home to our families in the North for a lot longer than we were originally planning. That served as great distraction from the feelings that I was fighting inside, but unfortunately just compressed the emotions when we returned. Needless to say, I've been doing my best to stay positive, but I've been having a few more bad-days than usual.
Last night, I got a chance to really talk about how I've been feeling. I was finally able to verbalize my whole range of emotions, and determine that the best that I can do right now, is to do what I can to make myself happy. So, that's what I'm going to do. I'm going to get myself to where I need/want to be, not only for myself, but for Romeo and our marriage. I'm learning to keep myself busy and occupied, to find things and activities that I enjoy, and to invest time in myself. I'm working on my faith in myself, in my life, and in my God.
I'm getting it together, slowly but surely. I'm getting my confidence back, and I'm working on seeing our circumstances from a new perspective. To all of those who have been supportive and been there for me throughout this time, thank you. I love you all for your patience and understanding, for your never-ending love and care.