beautiful things

Romeo called last night to tell me about his day. He was so excited, and I could hear it in his voice. It's always adorable when he gets like that... he turns into a 5 year old who just got his first hit at a t-ball game. It really is cute.
Anyway, the boys and he have become a bit more productive with their time. Down the road a few miles, they venture to a local orphanage. Dozens of children of all ages are reside there, and are BEYOND excited when the soldiers come to visit. They play soccer and run around spend time with these children who now not only don't have families, but now also don't have a country or government to support them.
Romeo says that the children, especially his new friend Melvin, just make all of the stress of being there worth it. They don't pester the men for water. They don't curse them off or make inappropriate gestures when there just isn't food to give. They hug and scream with excitement and run and play. These children, who are far more worse off than many of the other Haitians, seem uneffected by what is going on, and hold on to the pure joy of waking up to a new day.

What a blessing. To see happiness despite the destruction and struggle.

The way to make these childrens' day the best one yet? Bring candy. Bring anything. Just visit. If we all learned to live our lives to appreciate the simplicity of things, we could never be unhappy.

Terrible things happen every day, but miracles do too.

Deal with the bad, but live for the good.

So today, Romeo is fixing a basketball net. Simple as that. But by doing so, he'll make some number of orphaned children very happy. Isn't that what it all comes down to?

We live our lives so concerned with succeeding.

These children are living their lives so content.

Difference?

We worry. They just live.

For me, now knowing that Romeo is doing something that he really loves, I am inspired. I'm inspired to be more like that, and to learn from the example of children. It isn't often in our busy-body society that we stop to appreciate gestures. I'm going to do that from now on.

"While we try to teach our children about life,

Our children teach us what life is all about."

-A. Schwindt

just enough nonsense finally.

So tonight, amidst my newly-routine nocturnal cleaning, as I reorganized the closet, I found Romeo's wedding band.

Ouch.

Not ouch because he isn't wearing it, or because it's here and he's there, but because I stay up and clean so that I don't lay in bed and think. And now, even while I'm cleaning, I can't avoid thinking because there is a small jewelers box staring at me from across the room.

So now I'm thinking, and as per an earlier conversation with Romeo, I'm thinking about all the coincidences (or God-things) that happen to lead up to a fairy tale. Now, as a newlywed, I know I'm probably extra sappy about these things, but I believe in everyone's Cinderella story. And as I have been abruptly reminded by that little wedding band, I also believe in all of the little meant-to-be's that lead up to our big meant-to-be.

Throughout our lives, people walk in and out. Some linger a little longer, and some may leave deep footprints on our hearts. But each and every one of them are a stone that lines the path to where, or to whom, we're headed. We learn with each interaction, whether friendly or not, that of which details are going to point us in the direction we need to go.

Some people are lucky enough to find their own puzzle-piece from day one. The high-school sweethearts, or the childhood best friends. Those pairings are so rare, but so pure and beautiful. The rest of us need a little more time to find our own Prince (or Princess) in shining armour. And before we get to that point, I think all of us can agree that we need to meet a few frogs first. But as it seems, it's those frogs that force us to learn our own selves. We learn what we're compatible with, or what really makes us happy versus what we thought would make us happy.

Then one day, it just happens. In my case, it was when I least expected it. Romeo came out of nowhere, and just like that, I just knew God made him for me. He was the absolute, and I mean ABSOLUTE opposite of anything I would've guessed I'd be so in love with. He wasn't me in guy-form, like I was used to. He was the puzzle-piece that lifted up my every fault and completed my every dream. He was made for me, and as dramatic and theatrical as it may seem, it was then that I knew I was made for him, too.

Romeo and I are so very blessed, but that's certainly not to say that we haven't worked hard to ensure our relationship endured our trials. Some so petty, as to be just enough nonsense, and some so challenging, like an entire ocean. Nonetheless, God blessed us with the strength to endure it all, and that, is not one of those coincidences. That's part of the meant-to-be. All of those past frogs may have been a glimpse in our lives for a reason, but they also didn't remain in the picture because in the end, it wasn't part of where our coincidences were headed.

Meant-to-be love is like the world. It never stops. It will never halt growth or change. But no matter what, as long as it remains God's will, it will never cease to exist. It's always there, sometimes it just takes a few more God-things to find out exactly where, or who, it may be leading us to.

footprints

As any military family must learn quickly, we never stay in one place too long. If we're lucky,(or in some cases, really unlucky) we may be at a station 4 or 5 years max. Sometimes, we may only be in a place for a few months to a year. Either way, you must adjust quickly to the idea of shallow roots.
With the constant moving around, comes the pros and cons. As military families, we are very blessed.

Some families never leave their hometowns.

We get to experience all different homes with all different cultures throughout the country, sometimes the world.

New faces, new friends, new far-away families.

Each and every place we go brings a whole new wealth of experiences.

We move as a family unit.

Whether its just the two of us, or there are 5 or 6 along for the ride,

we move together, and with that, we grow together.

Something you don't like about your home?

Its okay! You'll start over with a new one in a few years!

There are plenty of ways to maintain a positive outlook about moving around. As long as we stay optimistic, and view it all as an exciting new adventure, the stress won't weigh us down. But we also need to remain realistic, and note the possible issues that arise from being a constant rolling stone.

Our extended families typically remain in one place.

Being away from them, though hard, can be made easier by means of effective communication.

Phone calls, greeting cards, SKYPE, are all wonderful.

Sometimes there is a feeling of living out of a suitcase CONSTANTLY.

Make sure when you get to a new place, do little things to make it your own for awhile.

You don't have to remodel, but hang pictures or plant a garden.

Sadly, it is often that our friendships are temporary.

One person or the other is always leaving eventually.

Do your best to keep in touch.

You never know when you may run in to an old friend.

Packing and unpacking.

Need I say more?

Keep important things, but try not to accumulate too much.

And take transfers for exactly what they are worth.... Clean out!

New places mean new worries.

There isn't anything worse than pulling into your new community and not knowing where you are.

Take an opportunity, family in tow, to explore and learn your new area.

Find the police station, the post office, the library, a local park, the closest grocery store, a church, schools, and ALL important places on post.

Important places on base include:

The hospital, doctor's offices, the Commissary, any AAFES location, the finance office, your sponsor's unit location, CYSS (if you have children), DEERS ID office, among MANY others.

Mailing address changes... EEK!

What a pain... but there are ways to make it easier on yourself.

If you are lucky enough to have your next address before you leave your current one, do yourself a favor and submit a "change of address" to your local post office. This will help ease your worries if you think your sensitive documents may be sent to your old home by mistake.

Also, keep a list of all credit cards, bank accounts, subscriptions, memberships or other bills. This will make your life sooooo much easier when it comes time to start making the phone calls to submit your new address. You won't need to worry about what you may have forgotten.

These are just a few circumstances that arise when you live the life of an Army wife. But despite all of the moving around and shallow roots, there isn't any reason not to participate in your current community. Why should you miss out on being involved? And why should your community miss out on your contributions? I'm not saying go run for Mayor or anything, I mean I guess you could....

Anyway...

become involved in a church,

coach a little-league team,

join a book club,

volunteer,

sign your children up for the local play production,

take a dance class,

go to neighborhood watch meetings

BECOME A MEMBER OF THE FRG

meet some friends, maybe have a play date or a girls night out

plan a benefit, or a charity drive

go to a local municipal meeting

There are a ton of things you can do in your community that don't require a binding commitment. Most military communities EXPECT members to come and go. Becoming involved is a way to give your family a normal experience. Closing yourselves off from others will not only make you all miserable, but what would you be doing to leave an impact?

Our soldiers' job is to help and make a difference. Our job, as families, it to follow that example. As difficult as it may be to up and leave and start over again, God blesses us with a whole new community to make a difference in, and all new lives to touch. Don't pass up the opportunity.

"Lives of great people all remind us that we can make our own lives sublime.

And, departing, leave behind us footprints on the sands of time."

-Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

nightdreams and daymares

i want to wake up and find it all has been a bad dream.
hear the alarm in the morning,
and wake up to find him next to me.

but then there's reality.
and when the fog of dreamland finally clears,
and i realize i'm still by myself,
i know that chances are
Romeo is out there somewhere...
wishing the same exact thing.

so each time I lay my head to rest,
I pray that God can bless us both with a bit of a fairy tale
for our dreams, that is.
because the pain of facing reality in the daylight
is so worth the glimpse of our love story during the night.

therapy

so Romeo and I keep journals to eachother.

rather, I keep a journal to Romeo.

before he left, he told me to write down how I felt while he was gone, and then when he got back, he could read what I wrote and know what I went through while he wasn't here.

needless to say, Romeo's journal is slowly filling the larger half of a notebook,

and he's only been gone 2 weeks.

it has been wonderful, because every time during the day that he and I would normally have a conversation exchange, I write.

I write how my day is going,

how Caly is,

how I feel at any particular moment,

and my thoughts.

Most importantly though, I write about him.

I write about what I think he could possibly be adventuring out to do.

About what he may be thinking,

or maybe how he's feeling.

I write about how much I care,

and how proud of him I am.

Sometimes I write how frustrated I am,

or how I wish he was just here for a hug.

I write when something is funny that I think he'll appreciate.

I write when I cry about missing him.

I write when I lay in bed at night and think about him.

I write when I wake up from a dream.

All those times when I would normally talk to him, and even some of the times that I wouldn't, I write to him.

Obviously, this is why my notebook to him is nearly full after 2 weeks.

Nonetheless,

this is my therapy.

I've come to the conclusion that everyone needs their own outlet. Some people clean. Some write. Some bake. Some draw. Some run. Some read. Some drink. Some pray. Some scream. Some eat. Some just breathe.

I have a lot of outlets.

The best therapy for me has been writing, though. Words somehow seem to organize my thoughts. Even when I can't figure out exactly how I feel, I start to write, and somehow it all works itself out. Thank you, God, for that. Otherwise, I would be certainly a mess.

I believe that when life is throwing curve balls, you have to take a second to watch. Not necessarily watch the ball fly by, but watch it before it's time to swing. Life happens fast, yes, but a brief moment in time to connect your actions with your thoughts is what we all need once in awhile. We all know how it feels to live a day on autopilot. You wake up, go about your normal routine, do the things you need to do, then go to bed without ever taking a chance to think about your life that day. If we all took a half-hour, or 10 minutes, or even 30 seconds to stop and analyze a moment, we wouldn't ever reach a breaking point. How often do we really take the opportunity to count our blessings? Or think about how it feels to live our own lives? Maybe to realize how far we've come or how much we've grown? Or maybe just to take a second to appreciate love? The love we give... The love we receive... It all becomes clear when we just take a moment to slow down and give our mind a chance to catch up with our body.

Our lives happen everyday, so quickly.

I think if we don't take the chance to be an audience to our own existence,

who will?

believing in what you fight for.

So everyone has their own pet-peeves. Some are a little more ridiculous than others. I'll admit, I have a few silly ones of my own...

Poor grammar. It's like nails on a chalkboard.

Pants that are too short.

Chewing with the mouth open.

Crooked bumper stickers. If its going to be on there forever... It better be straight.

Dirty fingernails. Ew.

Coffee breath. Hello... Gum, anyone?

Scattered papers. Stack them neatly!

Ok, so I admit, I have my compulsions, but there are a few things that I feel strongly about, that I don't think anyone can argue. (I mean, I'm sure someone can, but seriously?)

This morning on the radio, on my way to work, the discussion was about a particular NC Councilman, (cough Ed Robinson cough look him up cough), who is calling for the US Justice Department to investigate a police-officer-involved shooting. The details of this shooting are as follows:

Antoine James (suspect) was shot 3 times by Florence County Officer Alex Ussery. James alledgedly attempted to run the officer over during a vehicle stop. Ussery's report states that he stopped James' vehicle after witnessing his vehicle street racing another vehicle. As Officer Ussery approached the vehicle, James began to drive the vehicle toward the Officer. Officer Ussery then shot James 3 times. James was injured and admitted to a local hospital where he was treated, released, then released from police custody on bail.

Mhmm. So now, not only is this attempted killer out on bail, but Councilman Robinson is fighting to "uphold justice for the suspect." And that, ladies and gentlemen, is one of the elected representatives in our great nation.

So in the car this morning, I was listening to people call in and voice their opinions, which everyone is entitled to, obviously. So here is mine.

Our Police Officers, Firefighters, Medical Teams, and Soldiers

GIVE EVERYDAY OF THEIR LIVES TO OTHER PEOPLE.

Not one of the above listed heroes gets their own life.

They spend their days protecting, saving and sacrificing for the American People,

and yet,

there are still cowardly, selfish, irresponsible fools out in America

who try to take the lives of these heroes.

And even worse than that, is there are representatives in this country who

SIDE WITH THOSE POOR EXCUSES FOR AMERICANS!

I support Officer Ussery. I support every Officer who has ever felt threatened enough to need to pull their weapon, let alone, need to use it.

These HEROES give EVERYTHING for us.

Its our turn to give something back.

OUR SUPPORT.

As for our Soldiers, our Firefighters, and every other HERO out there...

If you can't stand behind them and give your support,

STAND IN FRONT.

Try doing their job or living their life for ONE DAY.

These men and women all have special places in heaven waiting for them.

God sees the good in them and their sacrifices,

and regardless of what happens here,

it all comes down to His judgement.

Live your life THANKFUL knowing that you can sleep soundly at night. Knowing that you can speak words that you want to say.

To Officer Ussery, and EVERY OTHER HERO,

Know that you have a whole nation behind you. Know that even if some politician wants to question your judgement, the rest of us don't.

WE SUPPORT YOU.

and

WE'RE THANKFUL FOR YOU AND ALL THAT YOU DO.

EVERYDAY.

PS-In case anyone is interested, here is the link to the news release:

http://www.wmbfnews.com/global/story.asp?S=11929792

be secure

its the little things during our days that give us comfort.

could be a pillow.

or a picture.

or a cup of tea.

or a security system.

There are a lot or things during our days that also make us uneasy.

bad weather.

a sore throat.

the news in general.

or just a feeling.

Throughout our daily existences, we go through these experiences in brief moments, for if we were to take a second to slow down and see them for what they are, our simple comforts may become less secure, and our small worries may overwhelm us.

This week has been a blessing.

Oh, it has already had its share of obstacles.

But nonetheless, it has been a gift.

And it's only Wednesday.

But I know, if I've made it

this far, through the ups and the downs,

I've already succeeded.

This week.

The beauty of our hard times, is that someday, even if it is just for a split second, things get better.

And then when that split second comes, we feel it, and all of a sudden, we can accomplish

anything.

All because of hard times.

Without hard times, we'll never know how it feels to have good times.

And there will always be a consciousness of how much it may hurt to fall.

After this week, thus far, this blessing, I know it'll hurt to struggle and be angry and frustrated and confused and upset all at the same time.

But I learned how good it feels to work through it, and find faith, and in the end, despite how much it hurts to fall, it feels great to stand up again.

Stay strong and keep faith.

Everything else will follow.